All posts by Joy Potter Cullen Diggory Jackson

excerpts from my haikaveh angst fic based off writing on the wall by will stetson and lia because im in the feels

In a perfect world, “perfection” wouldn’t exist.

Alhaitham loathed the idea of “perfection”. To him, “perfection” was an unattainable dream, an idealistic warping of reality. “Perfection” was illogical, irrational, everything he hated. “Perfection” didn’t exist. It was simply a concept built by man to point out everything wrong with the world.

“Perfection” was what destroyed those around him. For in the pursuit of “perfection”, came desperation. And with desperation, one could only fall back, crushed by the weight of “self-hatred.”

Of course, this didn’t mean that Alhaitham would prefer nothing was done right. It was simply that he would rather live in a failure of a world where people retained their passion than a perfect world where people lost their sense of self, selling everything they had only to burn themselves out.

With this logic, one could reasonably assume that Alhaitham loathed Kaveh. Kaveh, the Light of Kshahrewar, the great architect. Kaveh, the idealist. Kaveh, the perfectionist.

After all, he loathed everything Kaveh stood for. Every perfect angle, every straight line. The thousands of hours spent wasting away, succumbing to the voices that whispered, “just a little more. Just another draft. Just another line, another box.”

Despite this, he didn’t loathe Kaveh. No, loathing wasn’t it at all. He quite liked Kaveh, actually–Kaveh brought life to his grey existence, with his radiant words and brilliant dreams. Kaveh gave Alhaitham a purpose, a reason to wake up.

Pity wasn’t quite the word either. Pity implied that Kaveh suffered due to an outer force, and while that wasn’t exactly false, it was anything but the truth. Kaveh, after all, had brought this upon himself.

Could it be that Alhaitham was disgusted with Kaveh? His relentless pursuit of the concept Alhaitham despised so much, his constant failures and unending agony?

It certainly wasn’t that. On the contrary, Alhaitham respected Kaveh. Kaveh, who had suffered so much yet still found it in himself to bruise himself more. Kaveh, whose actions said, “if my blood and bones are what creates the foundation for these buildings, so be it.” Kaveh, who worked earnestly–not for fame or glory, but to bring his dreams to fruition.

No. There was no one word that could explain what Alhaitham felt for Kaveh. He merely wanted Kaveh to live for himself, rather than sacrificing himself to achieve an unachievable standard.

And perhaps that was why Kaveh hated Alhaitham. Alhaitham simply didn’t share his views–his logic defied everything Kaveh lived for, his entire reason to live. Alhaitham, while doing his best to support Kaveh, simply couldn’t wrap his mind around Kaveh’s purpose. And Kaveh simply couldn’t stand that.

UGH im ill

i think i like neuvillette so much not only has my perception of his gender completely changed he just became his own gender im going crazy

*raises hand* tr*mp is literally challenging everything that allows anyone who isnt a cishet white male citizen of america to have a normal human life

hi guys so on an unserious note, trust next election i will be writing in hatsune miku

and now on a serious note- i know i usually go the other way around but i think considering how massive of a thing this election was, i shouldn't dismiss it with a stupid joke like i usually do. not long ago the worst thing i had to fear was my ib exams and college apps, but now every second of the day is occupied by my mind wondering if i'm still gonna be able to be called a legal human. it sucks that tr*mp won the election, it sucks for everyone. as a bisexual, asian, gender non-conforming female, i get that. it angers me that those who voted red argue that he's "gonna fix the economy" and all that when what matters isn't how much i have to pay for a gallon of milk but whether i'm going to survive. hate crimes will come rolling in anywhere, and in a few years, i probably won't be able to access healthcare if the worst case scenario happens. i'm seriously disgusted at how ignorant red voters are. but even with all of this happening, please live on. it'll be a long four years, and there's going to be so much suffering, but i know we can find it in ourselves to live on. fight, shoulder through this term for a future where human rights still exist.

TILL IS ALIVE IVAN IS ALIVE SUA IS ALIVE AND HAPPY WITH MIZI THEY ALL COME ON STAGE TOGETHER HOLDING HANDS THE BLOOD IS FAKE THEY BOW AND SAY "THANK YUO FOR WATCHING OUR ALIEN STAGE" AND THEY LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER

guys WHY did alien stage absolutely DESTROY me also LUKA BETTER COUNT HIS PRAYERS i hope vivinos knows what shes done bcs that was HORRIBLE oh my god

what if i become a rapper (my tongue is NOT that good i would flop immediately)

sorry guys the tism is tickling me

story with 2 different plotlines where the world is set in a high fantasy universe and there's 4 main species (elves humans dwarves and seelies) where the elves despised the seelies because the elves consider themselves the highest forms of life while the seelies could control life, death and time itself and the seelies hated a singular elf clan (the irithorn clan) because they were based on bloodlust and they were twisting the concept of death so the seelies had to get rid of the irithorn clan but a pair of irithorn siblings survived and so one of them slumbered in an underground cave for a thousand years while the other set out to destroy the seelie race MEANWHILE the god of seelies ("lylthe") aka the god of literal time itself is actually dying really slowly because the strength of the seelie race is slowly shifting from their belief in him to their belief in themselves and so once he dies an elf from the other elf bloodline (ilaeth) who was lowkey his best friend takes his remains (his divinity which is the only thing left behind because his divinity IS the concept of time) and takes on the name of "lylthe" despite not even being a real seelie and uses the divinity to create another dimension called the abyss which he slowly grows in order to revive the original lylthe MEANWHILE that irithorn elf sibling i mentioned earlier (ren) finds ilaeth ("lylthe") and figures out his true origins somehow and threatens to reveal his identity if he doesnt help her annihilate the seelie race which is CRAZY considering he's supposed to be the seelie god rn but she offers him a seelie contract which is basically where a seelie controls the lifespan of any living individual in exchange for a favor and this ren kid's favor was to annihilate the seelies so he kind of has to do it and if ur asking why couldn't he say no it's because BLACKMAIL because if it gets out that hes actually an elf the entire dimension would be uprooted and he'd have zero chance of reviving the og lylthe again

fast forward modern day looks like "lylthe" forgot to annihilate the entire seelie race because there's two left oh shoot one of them is no longer alive whoops

so the one who died is this girl named himiko minosaki and she's from the lan clan of the seelies meaning that she has control over time itself and HERES SOME SEELIE TRIVIA if a seelie unalives then their soul gets split into 3 pieces which is their negativity, positivity and their memories

anyway so (this is really important) there's a couple of really important people that have to do with this himiko figure and thats shijo (her human brother), saito the rogue (her sorcerer childhood best friend), and december (the head of the elfish xileon clan)

so december is in the possession of himiko's memories, but he put them into a corpse and named her "mejiko"

the false lylthe also has possession of himiko's soul (her positivity) and he merged it with ren's soul to help heal ren from her trauma

the negativity is haunting shijo the brother and follows him to saito's house where he goes to get adopted in which the negativity attacks saito (but he subdues it dw)

so saito december and "lylthe" are all in possession of a part of himiko's soul and they all want to put it back together for very different reasons

saito just wants to revive his dead friend but december wants to put the parts back together in a way that the resulting energy from the reborn soul will be enough to create a whole new world WHILE "lylthe" wants to put himiko back together so he can have not just one but TWO seelies powering the abyss

and if you remember there is actually another seelie remaining in the world and this guy is kafka (the original main character of the story) kafka hu and this guy's part of the seelies hu clan which managed death and so he's actually an afterlife guide/funeral director which means he helps guide the dead to the afterlife (hence the title) and THIS guy has a friend named seung but seung is actually "lylthe" in disguise and kafka (being the only living seelie left) means a lot of things because 1) december could easily shatter his soul and use the pieces from HIS soul to create a new world (so he has to stay hidden from december) and 2) "lylthe" wants to use him to power the abyss so the revival process can speed up but he's been using him all his life without kafka's knowledge because i said earlier that his friend seung is actually "lylthe" and theyve been operating together for a REALLY long time but all of that was actually to grow the abyss

and hang on because there's like 6 more significant characters and im about to name them all because theyre my favorite

so the first two is this sibling pair named mikyo and makiryo and mikyo thinks he's makiryo's older brother but he's ACTUALLY her uncle (mikyo's a vampire btw) (makiryo is a human with an extended lifetime) but "lylthe" wiped their memories (to get rid of past trauma) and convinced them that they're siblings, now they work for "lylthe" as double agents cos they also work for december BUT its kinda crazy cos makiryo tends to side with december more while mikyo swore his loyalty to "lylthe" BTW mikyo has this power where he can see the truth behind any deception, puzzle or illusion (its like in twilight where they all get a power if they turn into vampires)

the remaining four is this group of people called heaven's beloved and what that means is that they're special humans who received a gift from the gods and the first one is this guy named aidan santos and i've actually written a lot of other stories about this guy and that's because he's a writer and his original universe was destroyed, but he jumped the rift between his real universe and the universe he recorded in his stories and he found out that there are more universal rifts and he figured out how to jump those too and now he's here ANYWAY his heavenly gift is this thing called "page of human novelty" and thats basically this thing where he can create a world within his notebook for up to 10 minutes 3 times a day and he has FULL POWER inside of it (it disappears if he does something super extreme)

the second heaven's beloved is this guy named min jae and he's actually a character from the story that aidan santos wrote in his original universe but the reason he can also jump universal rifts is because aidan meant for min jae to be the concept of death itself which is universal so min jae technically exists in every universe ANYWAY his gift is called "all men are naught but dust" which is where he and anyone he touches become phantasmical beings meaning they can be seen but not touched HOWEVER this also means that affected beings can't touch anything

the third guy is this nerd called rem vinne and basically he's a character that aidan created into the universe of THIS story so not aidan's story or his original universe but THIS STORY and that's because he figured out he can create characters using his notebook so he made one for rem who was actually his friend in his original universe but died ANYWAY rem's gift is "age of mankind" where he can hijack, control, destroy, create or malfunction any kind of machinery

and the last guy is this emo named ryume and he's pretty cool hes just this guy that hangs out with the other heaven's beloved his gift is that he can vacuum all the color within a 50 meter radius of himself, creating a "grey area" in which he uses the color to enhance his own abilities

ANYWAY IM DONE thank you and goodnight

ok so the problem with that idea is that im absolutely delusional

im in FREAKING LOVE WITH SOMEONE and they do NOT give enough sheets for me to work with bECUASE HES SO CHILL ABOUT IT but hes all "im not interested in a relationship" all smooth and cool AND HES SO NICE TOO HOW DO PEOPLE LIVE WITH A CRUHS OH MY GOD THIS IS THE WORST CRISIS IVE HAD SINCE FOREVER

I HAVENT SEEN U IN SO LONG GRRR omg my life has developed so oddly since we last saw each other

GUYS I THINK IMG OING INSANE...

YALL I CONFESSED TO HIM AND HE SAID HES NOT INTERESTED IN A RELATIONSHIP BUT MY BEST FRIEND GAVE ME A 2 MONTH DEADLINE TO MAKE HIM INTERESTED HELPPP also it turns out i have CRAZY competition like there are five other girls who like him

guys i have a crush but idek if he even looks as me as a friend or an acquaintance bcs we literally started talking like 3 weeks ago and his friend group is totally different from mine BUT HES SO CUTE AND SWEET AND COOL I RLLY WANT SOMETHING TO HAPPEN W HIM KILL MEEEEEE

what if i write a love song where the narrator falls in love with a person and describes them as a song they wish to sing and ajhsjhgsdjkfsdh

oh thats such a cool question

hmm

i think uhh lets go with my butler oc vic and imma just do maybe 3 or 4 cos im way too lazy to think that hard

og name: victor blackwood

jp: kurayami yuri (literally: means darkness, lily) (first name yuri, surname kuro) (its not a coincidence he actually chose his own name so this is what he prolly would have picked)

kr: ok so i actually originally intended his name to be jang minseok just cs it sounded about right and for him to be korean but then i was like what if i made him european instead

cn: maybe like yue baihe (yue- moon, baihe- lily)(without accent marks cos idk how to do that on keyboard)

ru: DEFINITELY either ivan or mikhail sokolov

when hes a 10 but he has three orphan children one of which is a former child soldier, another a serial unaliver (she killed her entire family before running away FOR GOOD REASON), and the third a mistreated maid with wildly unconventional skills and he used to unalive people for money (and still does) but under the guise of a normal housekeeping company

im thinking real hard about this wip ok

oh uhh

when hes a 10 but he's even more delusional than all of booktok, accidentally tore the rift between two realities just by existing (and writing as a side hobby), and hates life more than life hates him

when hes a 10 but he was a thrown away lab experiment, carried his siblings' nonliving corpses to his middle school after making a deal with the devil to get the strength to avenge them (in which he sacrificed his eye), joined the mafia and let himself get used until he made it to the top, quit the mafia and became a high school teacher, and became roommates with an exorcist

got home from marching band practice a few hours ago and the show music is still stuck in my head help me

HELP IT TRANSITIONED INTO BRAIN REVOLUTION GIRL AND THE TRANSITIONN WAS SO SMOOTH??

yall what the actual heck is going on in the pres debate