[Notice: employees will most likely have their names stated by their occupation and order they appeared in the story. Will are terribly sorry if anything here sounds like a parody of an SCP story]
GS-R-1: *stares miserably at a large protection screen connected to an equally large multi-controller keyboard* *sigh* (This is pointless–)
GS-R-2: Hey, Calvin…is there something wrong? You’ve been staring at the projector for 3 minutes straight.
GS-R-1: *!* Oh…it’s um…nothing–
GS-R-2: You do realize that whenever somebody says “nothing” or “it’s nothing” towards a question, they actually mean that something IS happening, but they don’t want to mention it, right?
GS-R-1: *practically stunned by this revelation* F-f-fine. It’s just that…you remember that A.I. we’ve been training on that CD with an unreasonably large storage space?
GS-R-2: Well, yeah! That’s basically the main reason why we work at this place!
GS-R-1: Well, As I’ve started noticing…the stuff we’ve been getting from it is starting to get boring and repetitive, as if it’s more focused on generating dopamine that actual entertainment. You hear me?
GS-R-2: (...) Well when you put it THAT way, yeah, I hear you out on that, since I HAVE been noticing some seemly annoying patterns, like women in pale, floating–
GS-R-3: colored dresses floating? [fun fact: GS-R-3 is the first female GS-R out of all of them] And ever considered how REPETITIVE the commentary dialogue is? I mean all it ever is nowadays is–
GS-R-1: Excuse me, but how did YOU get here?
GS-R-3: (...) To clarify, after doing some extensive research, I discovered that coffee was bad for my mental and physical health. So I decided to move on to herbal teas–*accidentally trips over a loose floorboard, causing her cup of tea to fall out of her hand and shatter on the floor* (...) And…there go those 19 seconds I spent squeezing 80 milliliters of lemon juice…
GS-R-1: [ignoring whatever GS-R-3 has to deal with right now] No, seriously. HOW did you get in here?
GS-R-3: [not looking up from her “work”I came through the door (...) Literally. I opened the door, and walked through the doorway. After all, it it would be silly if I tried walking through the door, as I would only bump my head against it!
GS-R-2: (...) [to GS-R-1] So…regarding the A.I.?
GS-R-1: Yeah…I i’m starting to come to the conclusion that either it’s us who are getting bored with the A.I., or the A.I. is getting bored of what it’s being trained on. *sigh* if only there was someone or something that could help us settle this dilemma–
HRC-M-1: [offscreen] Did someone say SOMEONE? [Camera turns towards her] Because I as the president of the humor research club, am here to–
HRC-M-2: [comes up behind HRC-M-1] AHEM! Don’t you mean VICE President of the Humor Research Club? (🤨) *instantly turns toward the other GS-R members* And in case you’re wondering how SHE [HRC-M-1] got here….she crashed through the wall. She’s really just like that. *chuckle*
HRC-M-1: Aw, Shucks! Anyways…911, what’s your emergency?
[One neutrally long explanation (with a few interrupting cows) later…]
HRC-M-1: Mhm…mhm…Okay, I– [intense states from the the back of her head (Card Captor Sakura reference?!?!?!!?!)] (...) I mean, WE can help with that! *pulls HRC-M-1 over, and tries to blows into the keychain whistle they have hanging on their neck…only to exhaust all of their energy and fail*
HRC-M-2: (...) *looks back and forth at the GS-R members in embarrassment* Er…I’ll just do the honors…*pulls out a kazoo from her pocket, and blows wildly into it*
[Immediately after HRC-M-2 says this, the other 7 members of the Humor Research Club crash through the same wall that HRC-M-1 crashed through. HRC-M-2 then explains the meaning for the organization, and what they might need to do.]
HRC-M-3: Well in that case…*walks up to the multi-controller keyboard, and literally rips out the TV with the CD inside of it* Let’s get rid of this junk…
HRC-M-4: And paint it to make it brand new!
HRC-M-5: (...) ‘scuse me, ma’am, but we ain’t usin’ paint with this one, just engineerin’ tools–
HRC-M-4: *Roblox shrug emote*
[And with this, insert a “Bob the Builder”-like montage here, with all 3 of the visible GS-R members staring at the “construction work in confusion and awe]
GS-R-1: (😮) I’m already wondering what their working standards are, to the stern that they’re able to operate like this…
GS-R-2: What are they even doing?
HRC-M-1: *finally woke up from her exhaustion* *BIG DEEP BREATH* We’re reconstructing the A.I to be used as more of an animation tool, rather that relying on an already operating prompt! With it, you guys will be able to control which elements you find annoying from the tips of your fingers!
GS-R-{½}: (...) Okay, sounds cool!
[Believe it or not, the operation (and the after-effects) went smoothly! Although I can’t exactly tell anyone what will be done with it, expect some debatably less hinged results soon!]
[Also this is canon to the “BATTLE FOR CRABINET” series]
