got bored and decided to do this

TW DAZAI

HOUSES

GRYFFINDOR (head FUKUCHI GEN'ICHIRO (ability - his sword can cut time))

NAKAJIMA ATSUSHI confirmed furry canon (ability - turns into a tiger)

IZUMI KYOUKA normalest person there (ability - summons demon snow, a sworld wielding phantom)

NAKAHARA CHUUYA so gay for dazai (ability - controls gravity)

DOPPO KUNIKIDA nerd (ability - can summon anything he writes in his notebook as long as it fits within the area of the notebook) - head boy

YOSANO AKIKO doctor (ability - can heal basically anything) - head girl

SLYTHERIN (head MORI OUGAI confirmed creep (ability - elise))

AKUTAGAWA RYUUNOSUKE eyebrowless (ability - summons rashomon which is basically his coat monster (no joke im being so fr)

NIKOLAI GOGOL literally the silliest (ability - can transport any object through his cape within 30 meters)

SAIGIKU JOUNO love hate relationship with tecchou (ability - can turn to molecular dust)

HIGUCHI ICHIYO when ur crush is gay (ability - unknown) - head girl

RAVENCLAW (NATSUME SOSEKI cat (ability - turns into a cat))

OSAMU DAZAI suicide avoids him (ability - cancels out other people's abilities)

FYODOR DOSTOEVSKY rat (ability - crime and punishment [details unknown])

EDOGAWA RANPO nerd (no ability but he thinks his super intellect counts which basically lets him solve anything in a matter of seconds)

EDGAR ALLAN POE his nerd <3 (ability - can suck readers into any story that he has written) - head boy

AKUTAGAWA GIN the one with the eyebrow gene (no ability but she did get the eyebrows) - head girl

HUFFLEPUFF (head FUKUZAWA YUKICHI dilf (ability - lets all people in the armed detective agency be able to control their abilities which is useful for people like kyouka and atsushi))

MIYAZAWA KENJI cute farmer twink (ability - superstrength)

TETCHOU SUEHIRO eccentric in the least normal way (ability - his sword can grow)

TANIZAKI JUN'ICHIRO oh he's so normal except his sister (ability - makes illusions) - head boy

SIGMA born to shoujo forced to shounen (ability - exchanges information with anyone he touches)

_

if i didn't put down a certain character i'm sorry to tell you this but it's like midnight and i can NOT remember all the bsd characters from heart im just puttin gdown who comes to mind first

_

QUIDDITCH (im so glad i remember the positions)

GRYFFINDOR

CHASER kyouka and two other people ig

KEEPER kunikida

SEEKER chuuya who actually wanted to be a beater (for reasons one can easily guess) but his ability was rlly good so they made him seeker so they can win everything

BEATER atsushi and yosano

SLYTHERIN

CHASER higuchi and jouno

SEEKER akutagawa ryuunosuke

KEEPER nikolai (they would have made him the seeker but that would be too op)

RAVENCLAW

SEEKER akutagawa gin

KEEPER dazai

BEATER fyodor

the others dont play cos theyre nerds

HUFFLEPUFF

CHASER kenji (who would have been a beater but hes too strong so someone might actually die)

KEEPER tetchou

SEEKER sigma

BEATER jun'ichiro

might do this with other series bc this is kinda fun

GUIDE OK

theodore sinclair evans - 17 but looks 12, slytherin, trauma made him into the funniest person in the friend group, has that bottled up twink anger

vivienne chloe evans - 15 but looks 17, also slytherin, very classy very cute

alex brown - 17, slytherin, called theodore "claire" (as in sinclair, after finding out his middle name) and got beat for it, best friends with theodore and cecelia since birth

cecilia claire philips - 17, hufflepuff, looks like a hater but is actually the sweetest person you'll ever meet

charlie alice philips - 15, gryffindor, very cute, best friends with claude, called theodore "dory" and got beat for it, very close to theodore because her sister is like best friends with him since birth

claude larkin merritt - 15, ravenclaw, chronically tired, actually so pookie coded, carries a teddy bear everywhere he goes

henry victor allen - 15, ravenclaw, dresses smart but is actually a mess of a person, literally so gay for claude

claude: so HYPOTHETICALLY if i by chance HYPOTHETICALLY forgot to do my HYPOTHETICAL essay for defense against the dark arts that was HYPOTHETICALLY due today because i was HYPOTHETICALLY making up for the HYPOTHETICAL month of sleep that i've missed would any of you do it for me

vivienne: stfu claude we all had that essay

henry: i think sleep deprivation is very charming on some people

charlie: it's just claude. you're insane

alex upon discovering theodore's middle name: so your name is theodore sinclair evans

theodore: yes and

alex: sinclair

theodore: yes and

alex: claire?

theodore: alex when i tell you i've been trying to kill you for the past seven years

cecelia: sometimes theodore will call me and he'll be like

cecelia (in a high pitched tone): "cecy save me please"

cecelia: and i'll know instantly he got jumped by a bunch of seventh year girls who think he's an adorable second year

theodore (from the distance): i could kill them if i wanted to yk

cecelia: he's terrified of them

theodore: i'm not afraid of anything

theodore: but girls...

theodore: they scare me

henry: throughout all my years of knowing him, i've never seen claude angry before, like i've never even seen him curse

henry: and i think it's really just that claude is a really chill and laidback person

henry: but sometimes i'll look at that guy and i'll think,

henry: deep down, there's a force in him that could destroy the universe

charlie: people might call me bisexual

charlie: but i think i'm byesexual with the lack of maidens i've been getting recently

theodore: the first day i went to potions class the professor called me theatre

cecelia: they pronounced my name ceh-cuh-LEE-yah and not ce-CEE-lia

claude: they called me cloud

alex: favorite spells GO

charlie: the patronus one

alex: cos ur lonely?

cecelia: accio!

alex: accio maidens***

vivienne: alohomora

alex: ok criminal

henry: lumos

alex: what, so your wand can be brighter than your future?

theodore: silencio

alex: oh i KNOW you've been wanting to use that on me ever since we met

claude: insomnia

alex: let's get you to bed claude

i have like 4 assignments to do and i chose to do this

guide:

LJ - lee jun, last time i said hes slytherin but oh BOY is he hufflepuff coded, loves cats and gossip, acts cold but is actually secretly really cute and nice and ahsjkdghskjgh

MJ - min jae, still slytherin, BI ICON, acts cute but is highkey the biggest hater, still loves lj and nms tho, likes collecting metal, has metal synthetic arms

NMS - na misong, slytherin, acts cute and actually is cute (unlike the monstrosity that is min jae), she's been best friends with lj and mj literally since they were born (they were born consecutively lmao mj was born 4/1 nms 4/2 and lj 4/3), denies having a massive crush on mj but it's really obvious

HSH - ha seonghyun, griffindor, wildly in love with lee jun, likes dirty jokes, lee jun is simultaneously terrified/disgusted/madly in love with him

OJH - oh juhyeok, ravenclaw, pretty normal, likes cats to a dignified level, really smart but sucks at thinking

it's like midnight rn but here we go

_

HSH: juhyeok-ah recently i've been feeling this weird throb in my chest whenever i see lee jun and i go all red and my throat feels constricted and i feel hot all over, what is this feeling?

OJH: fever and chest pain? i think it's pneumonia, you should get that checked

(meanwhile)

LJ: jae-ah recently i've been feeling this weird throb in my chest whenever i see ha seonghyun and i go all red and my throat feels constricted and i feel hot all over, i think i have pneumonia

MJ: jun that's literally love.

_

HSH: i wish lee jun would look at me how he looks at professor mcgonagall when she's in cat form

_

OJH: sometimes i look at myself and think, i'm a disappointment

OJH: but then i look at the people around me and remind myself that no matter how much of a disappointment i am to myself, there will always be people to make me even more disappointed

_

HSH (crying): lee jun-ssi come back to me...there's still so many things i wanted to say to you...please don't die

MJ: that's never gonna work, move over

MJ: lee jun professor mcgee is failing you in transfiguration, you have a twelve page essay due tonight and your only good grade is in potions

LJ (opening his eyes): say what now

_

NMS: jae can i talk to u rq

LJ: omg 20 galleons shes gonna confess to u

MJ: ok rich man

LJ (whispering): please don't confess to him i don't have that much on me

_

PROF: ok so a boggart is gonna come out in the form of your greatest fear, what do you think is gonna be urs?

HSH (raising his hand): your mom

LJ (raising his hand): ha seonghyun

_

HSH: hey did you finish these 20 page essays for snape yet

LJ: these what???

HSH: deez nuts

LJ: ha seonghyun i will find a way to kill you one day

lwk i saw another incorrect quotes post here and i felt like making my own so

guide:

HSH: ha seonghyun, griffindor, does absolutely whatever the heck he wants, parseltongue

OJH: oh juhyeok, ravenclaw, is HSH's walking braincell

WY: wisely yukihara, ravenclaw, literally a walking encyclopedia, normal enough, absolutely ADORED by both ojh and lj

LJ: lee jun, slytherin, tsundere, hates hsh but is also deeply in love with hsh at the same time, 100% a cat person

MJ: min jae, slytherin, literally so done, literally kj's bestie since they were born

ok some of these might be kinda bad bc im kinda braindead from finals but here we go

HSH: *clicks "I agree to the terms and conditions"*

OJH (from underneath the desk): a fine liar you are, ha seonghyun

HSH: *shrieks*

HSH: lee jun, can i see your homework?

LJ: absolutely the hell not

HSH: oh juhyeok, can i see your homework?

OJH: bold of you to assume i did it

HSH: wisely, can i see your homework?

WY: ha seonghyun-ssi, i'm not even in your grade

LJ: i am strong.

LJ: i am scary.

LJ: i am cold and menacing.

LJ: i am invincible.

MJ: oh so that thing last night where you spent a full three hours petting and cuddling prof. mcgonagall in her cat form without knowing it was prof. mcgonagall was a fluke

MJ: yea

MJ: what evil, evil thing are you going to do now, cold and menacing shadow lord lee jun

LJ: thought i was meowing at my cat yesterday but it turns out it was professor mcgonagall

HSH: uhm 👉👈 jun oppar 🥺 i-i-i really like you

LJ: ha seonghyun when i say i have been trying to find a way to use an unforgivable curse on you for the past seven years i mean it with all the love in my heart.

WY: oh juhyeok-ssi, i learned a new slang in korean

WY: it's something like how when you're really frustrated you call it sweet potatoes (고구마)

WY: do you ever feel the need to use it?

OJH: *gestures vaguely at his potions class*

OJH: uno!

HSH: eevee, use quick attack!

LJ: full house!

WY: queen to A2!

MJ: INCENDIO

WY: accio bubble tea!

OJH: accio sleep schedule!

HSH: accio a lover!

MJ: that is literally not how any of this works

HSH: i've wasted more ink trying to fix a typo than i ever have while writing an actual essay

(interviewer): what's your biggest pet peeves?:

HSH: when lee jun meows at oh juhyeok and not me

OJH: when lee jun meows at me

WY: slow walkers

LJ: *gestures at HSH* whatever that is

MJ: when lee jun meows

OJH: i've composed a song

OJH: it reflects my personal relationships with each and every one of you all :)

OJH: i hope you like it

OJH: i put lots of effort into practicing it so please enjoy :)

OJH: *strums like two chords*

OJH: *screams*

HSH:

LJ:

MJ:

WY: to be perfectly fair he did hold that scream for an impressively long time

Made w/ this generator: https://perchance.org/incorrect-quote-generator

Renenutet (sometimes called Rue or Heiress, short for the Dark Heiress) Riddle: Poison is a magic transmutation potion that turns people into corpses.

Grimore "Grim" Riddle (Rue's daughter): This knife is actually a magic wand.

Aelfrun "Ael" Ironwinter (cousin of Bliss): Meet me in the Denny’s parking lot for a wizard duel.

Liraz "Raz" Potter-Lupin: *holds c--s (dunno what c--s means, that's just the generator generating, lol XD) gun* Magic missile.

Blissafina "Bliss" Paradasia (cousin of Ael): What the f--- is wrong with you people?!

Renenutet (sometimes called Rue or Heiress, short for the Dark Heiress) Riddle: I need to dye my hair.

Grimore "Grim" Riddle (Rue's daughter): ...

Renenutet (sometimes called Rue or Heiress, short for the Dark Heiress) Riddle: Or get another tattoo.

Grimore "Grim" Riddle (Rue's daughter): ...

Renenutet (sometimes called Rue or Heiress, short for the Dark Heiress) Riddle: Or a new piercing.

Grimore "Grim" Riddle (Rue's daughter): Why?

Renenutet (sometimes called Rue or Heiress, short for the Dark Heiress) Riddle: To, you know, appease the mental breakdown gods.

Renenutet (sometimes called Rue or Heiress, short for the Dark Heiress) Riddle: Good morning.

Aelfrun "Ael" Ironwinter (cousin of Bliss): Good morning.

Grimore "Grim" Riddle (Rue's daughter): Good morning.

Blissafina "Bliss" Paradasia (cousin of Ael): You all sound like robots, try spicing it up a bit.

Liraz "Raz" Potter-Lupin: MORNING MOTHERF---ERS!

Renenutet (sometimes called Rue or Heiress, short for the Dark Heiress) Riddle: It's not like I try to blow things up, exactly. It just sort of happens. You've got to admit though, fire is fascinating.

Aelfrun "Ael" Ironwinter (cousin of Bliss): Quick! You must come with me! Your in great danger!

Blissafina "Bliss" Paradasia (cousin of Ael): Why?!

Aelfrun "Ael" Ironwinter (cousin of Bliss): Because I’ll kill you if you don’t.

Grimore "Grim" Riddle (Rue's daughter): Do you take constructive criticism?

Liraz "Raz" Potter-Lupin: No, only cash or credit.

Aelfrun "Ael" Ironwinter (cousin of Bliss): We’re going to defeat you with the power of friendship.

Blissafina "Bliss" Paradasia (cousin of Ael): We’re not friends.

Aelfrun "Ael" Ironwinter (cousin of Bliss), holding an axe: We’re going to defeat you with the power of incredible violence.

Liraz "Raz" Potter-Lupin: Comparing Renenutet (sometimes called Rue or Heiress, short for the Dark Heiress) Riddle and Blissafina "Bliss" Paradasia (cousin of Ael) is like comparing apples and oranges.

Renenutet (sometimes called Rue or Heiress, short for the Dark Heiress) Riddle: We’re both unique in our own ways?

Liraz "Raz" Potter-Lupin: Apples are superior in every way and all oranges should be eliminated.

Blissafina "Bliss" Paradasia (cousin of Ael): Which one of us is the orange?

Renenutet (sometimes called Rue or Heiress, short for the Dark Heiress) Riddle: I just ended a five year relationship.

Aelfrun "Ael" Ironwinter (cousin of Bliss): Oh no, are you okay?

Renenutet (sometimes called Rue or Heiress, short for the Dark Heiress) Riddle: It's okay, it wasn't mine.

Aelfrun "Ael" Ironwinter (cousin of Bliss): Kill him.

Renenutet (sometimes called Rue or Heiress, short for the Dark Heiress) Riddle: This is the kind of quality advice I look for.

Renenutet (sometimes called Rue or Heiress, short for the Dark Heiress) Riddle: I’m terrible at expressing myself.

Aelfrun "Ael" Ironwinter (cousin of Bliss): Don’t worry, actions speak louder than words!

Renenutet (sometimes called Rue or Heiress, short for the Dark Heiress) Riddle: Yes, but my actions are also bad.

Aelfrun "Ael" Ironwinter (cousin of Bliss): I can't believe you've done this.....

Blissafina "Bliss" Paradasia (cousin of Ael): I'm sorry I didn't know-!

Aelfrun "Ael" Ironwinter (cousin of Bliss), on the verge of tears: YOU CAN'T JUST BUY ME A GIFT OUT OF NOWHERE NOW I FEEL LIKE A HUGE A--HOLE!

Renenutet (sometimes called Rue or Heiress, short for the Dark Heiress) Riddle, T-posing in the doorway: Greetings, Blissafina "Bliss" Paradasia (cousin of Ael).

Blissafina "Bliss" Paradasia (cousin of Ael), not looking up from their coffee: Good morning, problem child.

Aelfrun "Ael" Ironwinter (cousin of Bliss): Good news!

Renenutet (sometimes called Rue or Heiress, short for the Dark Heiress) Riddle: You found where I hid your phone?

Aelfrun "Ael" Ironwinter (cousin of Bliss): ...

Renenutet (sometimes called Rue or Heiress, short for the Dark Heiress) Riddle: You found your phone?

Murderer: Any last words?

Liraz "Raz" Potter-Lupin: Do you think I'm cute? Be honest.

Liraz "Raz" Potter-Lupin: Woah dude, premarital handholding? That’s just not cool or groovy.

*Squad is playing Among Us*

Renenutet (sometimes called Rue or Heiress, short for the Dark Heiress) Riddle: I believe Grimore "Grim" Riddle (Rue's daughter) is innocent, I was with them the whole time. Liraz "Raz" Potter-Lupin, what were you doing?

Liraz "Raz" Potter-Lupin: Oh, I was just murdering… I mean, nothing!

Renenutet (sometimes called Rue or Heiress, short for the Dark Heiress) Riddle: We need to open this locked door. Blissafina "Bliss" Paradasia (cousin of Ael), give me your credit card.

Blissafina "Bliss" Paradasia (cousin of Ael): Here.

Renenutet (sometimes called Rue or Heiress, short for the Dark Heiress) Riddle, pocketing it: Thanks. Grimore "Grim" Riddle (Rue's daughter), break down the door. (they could just use alohomora but dey wuv violence i guess lol)

Aelfrun "Ael" Ironwinter (cousin of Bliss): Name something you believed in as a child that you no longer do as an adult.

Renenutet (sometimes called Rue or Heiress, short for the Dark Heiress) Riddle: Myself.

Grimore "Grim" Riddle (Rue's daughter): I was put on this earth to do one thing.

Grimore "Grim" Riddle (Rue's daughter): Luckily I forgot what it was so I can do whatever I want.

If u want me to generate a few incorrect quotes with ur ocs, pls lemme know!

Hi, i'm ren, ae/them! i found this wiki through @/Cabbage Man Fan mentioning that there was an ot post and scrolling through all the old ones just to find it because i don't need any more chaos or notifications in my life but I WANT

my favorite book serieses are hp, agggtm, kotlc, truly devious, house of salt and sorrows, soc, the inheritance games, twilight, and so many more!

*tries to think of random discussion question*

which 2 houses do you think you're the most like? i hate having to pick one lol

mine are definitely slytherin and ravenclaw, on the official pottermore test it says i'm slytherin, but i also have a ton of ravenclaw tendencies

I- no, just no

This one is really funny, I like it

When your mother scolds you and gives you the ‘I told you so’ look